Returning to Blogging and the Body (Issue)

Returning to Blogging and the Body (Issue)

Hello Hip Huggers! Hiatus is over. I have returned to the block…

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This is certainly happening because I am 98.8% over the narrative in the fitness, weight loss, body image industry right now. I have found most of the people, places, or things I follow do not motivate me to get up and run for strong legs, crunch for a tighter core, or eat for longevity like they used to. I’ve reached a place where motivation has to come from within.

That’s why I must blog. For I am her, and she is me.

What happened to start where you are? Where are the people who are just walking 30 minutes a day? Cutting out fizzy drinks? Getting more sleep? Just trying to make it?

Success happened to me, so I thought. In 2016, I decided I was fed up with myself. I had reached my desired weight of 156 (high school weight) and was just trying to stay within that range. I was a runner, logging 100 Miles a month most of the time. I worked out at the gym several times a week and attended all kinds of Zumba, Insanity cardio classes. After all that yummy fitness, I was empty. Still.

I learned the hard way if you don’t deal with the empty, food will fill the space again.

So, recently,  I have started reclaiming my mind and my fit. I am an honest 216 lbs. wearing XL shirts and size 18 jeans, 16 in pants. My goal is (still) to get under 200 lbs and under 35-inch waist. I am eating normally (mindfully: eating when hungry, snacking minimally, staying hydrated), yet not tracking calories, not eliminating food groups, and working out a few days a week.

Cycling is my love and has taken the place of running… in this season. I look forward to hopping on and getting better because cardio is my mainstay and although lifting and cross training is vital for the gains I like to see, cardio is freeing to me, and the sense of accomplishment is both gratifying and uplifting to my spirits. Endorphins, yes I know. But, he cares. It works for me.

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Right now, my old faithful salads and kombuchas are the constant every day. I know, I know, they get old quick, but I have danced this 2-Step before and know the overhaul burns out just the same. I literally have only committed to 30 mins of something most days and intuitively eating. I would love to adopt an 18 hour fast but still need to research (read: convince myself) if it’s the best thing for me.

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But let us not forget the real work, the internal work that is even more in need of discipline and renewal. Because the reason I believe I am even revisiting these goals is that I was consumed with checking the boxes, but not checking in on myself.

I have forgotten myself. I must admit, I stopped making myself a priority in my own life. I was reminiscing the other night about who I was when I lived in the city. Before the weight, and food were even on my radar of thing to concern myself with. I would practice lots of self-care with 5 little ones at home and didn’t even bat an eye. Nails, pedis, an array of shoes and always on the prowl for cute earrings, I took advantage of opportunities to do something that made me smile. I refused to lose myself in parenthood, as a helpmate, and even as a church member. I was going to be me!

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Fast forward 10 years to home ownership, suburban life, teenagers and a husband who works ALL the time, I have found fewer and fewer things bringing me contentment. A clean house folded clothes, and a fridge full of food began to be the joyful things… I know, lame. But, I am on a path of enlightenment and all things are considered on this one. Shopping, meditating, praying, purging, and even purchases… all the things that let me know Pamela is still in there and has a full life she’s ready to live again.

So, this is the state of me. Physically and psychologically focused, I am taking responsibility for both my body and my (well) being.

 Are you too sharing the same struggles while adulting?

 

 

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Out with the Old, In with the Clone

Out with the Old, In with the Clone

 

Hello Hipsters!!! Hope you are having a fantastic Summer-To-Be!!

What I have for you is yet, an other awkward post after a nother disappearing act. Yours truly.

Was kinda hoping no one noticed?

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 But, there is new perspective here. So, 3 weeks ago, my Instagram was deleted.

2 years of sharing progress, runs, milestones, food, and MANY other gratuitous pictures… gone. I can’t even get my name back; I’ve tried.

 It’s suspended in uselessverse somewhere. Indefinitely – because @runswithhips just tells me some lame excuse about she’s “not found”… I miss her.

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So, that unfortunate “break” allowed me a lot of time to reconvene what my purpose and point of even sharing is, really.

I mean, was I more disappointed that all my pictures were gone, or that I lost ALL those followers?  My ducklings!

Gah, I couldn’t even deal… I was just done with stupid Instagram altogether.

Then, I (accidentally) sought peace in the most unassuming of places… my blog 🙂

In short: I went back just yesterday and started reading from my very first post. I laughed… A LOT!! The BEST therapy.  I was actually proud of the content and direction I was once going in my blog but furthermore, I was proud I had ever even started it!  Who am I?!?!

I figured this: just like IG 2 years ago, no one cared about runs or hips or how.  It was just another page on a social media site with a bajillion other people posting the same. exact. story.

So, how’d I ever end up with 1000 people even remotely interested in my journey? How’d my page become “feature worthy” or even worth the Shout Out? Or a landing for encouraging words and goal setting? I think folks were genuinely encouraged! And something about my page was…  INTERESTING!!!!!!

So, I removed the clouds out of my brain, and started a new IG page: @runswithips  – Pretty much the same, sans an “h”…
Until Instagram changes its ugly ways, I’ll forever be a clone…

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 A bit painful, because the former was my little baby and I poured into it… but no way could Instagram ever have the audience that a REAL LIVE BLOG ever can. This is real stuff!! My new launch pad.

So, do I stop doubting my blogosphere skills and start making my space here? For real, for real? For real.

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Exceptionally.

Question: Has a Shutdown on social media actually rekindled a LOVE for something else?